to the girl who cant find her "maid of honour"
For some reason, over the past couple of weeks, I’ve really had marriage on my brain. But unlike most single girls out there I haven’t been worrying about who I’m going to marry. Tori Kelly really summed up my whole mindset of my current relationship status in her song “Dear No One” but especially when she sings “... I’d love to have a soulmate, and God’ll give him to me someday, and I know it’ll be worth the wait.“ I mean I really don’t want to be one of those girls who spends her whole life waiting for a guy to complete her nor do I want to be that girl who runs around after every guy trying to find “the one” (trust me I’ve done that and it wasn’t pretty). Anyways the past couple of weeks the topic of marriage has come up quite a bit and unlike most single girls out there I haven’t been worrying about who I’m going to marry. I’ve actually been really pondering who would be my maid of honor. See typically the maid of honor is the best friend but I’ve never had a “best friend”. Sure I’ve had friends, some who were closer than others but no one who was my person, my soulmate in a best friend kind of way. If you’re nodding along in agreement with what I’ve just said then this post is for you; the girl who can’t seem to find her “maid of honor”.
To you,
All through high school, you were one of those girls who was friends with everyone. You had your people who you could tease endlessly, the people who knew some of your deepest secrets and the people who judged the world with you. You all created your own separate forms of chaos and you’re almost certain your teachers were secretly rejoicing when they saw the last of you. But all through high school you were searching. Searching for the girl who was the second half of all the photos you had pinned to your BFFs buddies board on Pinterest.
You used to tell yourself you didn't have a best friend because it just complicates life further. To be honest I think you were just trying to convince yourself that it was okay to have a huge group of friends rather than one person who you went to about everything. I guess you were always scared to commit to one person because you didn't want to be left alone, vulnerable and back at square one. It all just seemed easier to have a few people who knew different things so that if they left then they were only taking a part of you. Maybe that's why you don't have a best friend. And that's something you were perfectly okay with, til now. Now it's a trait you barely ever notice but you desperately wish you could fix.
Sure, you have girls who you honestly thought were the one. Think about it. There was the girl who helped you through your darkest time. Then there was the girl who left her best friend for you. And then there’s also the girl who’s known you since you were 7 and the girl you did EVERYTHING with. But each of these girls had their season and then you drifted and now you’re here. Reading my blog, still searching. I’m typing this hoping that some magic formula will come to me. Hoping desperately that I can provide you with the answer to why everyone else seems to have a best friend and you don’t.
As I was writing this post I stumbled across an article by Leah Fessler where she shares how she learned to cope with not having one specific friend.
"In the absence of a best friend, I’ve come to cherish being a 'people' person, or taking a polyamorous approach to friendship."So what if you don't have a best friend? As long as you have an amazing group of friends you'll be fine. Sure it may lead to some awkward turtle moments when they all go off in pairs but that's okay. The awkward turtle moments are what makes life.
Therefore next time you're feeling down because you don't have that number one BFF to exchange bestie bracelets with remember these things:
1) best friend bracelets are so tacky
2) you're the real winner in all of this because I can guarantee more than one person will appreciate you for the fact that you are there no matter the hour because you aren't held back by another person who gets jealous over you getting closer to other people.
3) group insta photos look soo much better than having the same person through out your entire feed.
4) my good friend Google has informed me that there's nothing to stop you from having your pet, your sister or even your brother as your maid of honor. Although if it's your brother they're referred to as the man of honor. If that's still not your style why not just cancel the whole idea of a maid of honor completely and just have your group of friends as bridesmaids (it is the 21st century after all!!)
Hope this has managed to lift your spirits regarding your bestie status.
Til next week,
XO lavinia